You say you want a girl who thinks really deep thoughts?

What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?

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Fiona Apple
My wonderful grandmother Emma Wiseman, who was also my best friend--we could talk about anything--died Feb. 14, 2010 after 91 wonderful years of life. My mom was holding her hand. (Unfortunately, my aunt came down with either the flu or a bad cold and was in the hospital's urgent care with a bad fever.)

The news thankfully came when Amir and I were meeting my dad in Leesburg. I'm glad we were all together.

I know I wasn't at my best in the last LJ posts, angry and hurt, but I guess I was wanting the comfort of my friends. I've been surprised by how many texts and calls of mine haven't been returned these past two weeks. I guess people didn't know what to say to me (or else the reminder of mortality is an uncomfortable one), but honestly, something was better than nothing. "I'm sorry" and "I'm thinking of you" goes a long way. I like talking about my grandmother. She's precious to me. So, thank you to my LJ friends who stepped up.

The support at work has blown me away. I've been so touched by my co-workers' concern. I also didn't know this, but visiting Mom-Mom fell under my five-day emergency days that I didn't even know I had. So I have some PTO left after all since I didn't have to use them all. My boss is also letting me take off next Saturday. I guess that will also be emergency leave.

It's really hard. I'm still angry at myself for not doing as much as I could have, being as good as I could have, but at least I got to visit her while she was still aware. The day before she died--and this means the world to me--she said "hi" on the phone to me when the rest of the day she had been unresponsive...It meant so much.

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I'm sorry for your loss.


Thank you, and good to hear from you. I was afraid you'd left LJ. How's your writing going?

I never left, just hang out too much on other The writing is going good. My sister and I are actually working on a project together. It's kind of neat since she is younger than me by 16 years and has an interesting viewpoint - much different than

I'm sorry Sherry. And also sorry I haven't been on LJ a lot lately or else I might have known what was going on.

I only met your grandmother twice around the time of your wedding, but she was such a sweet woman. From the way I've always heard you speak of her, I know she meant a lot to you, and I'm sure that she knew that too.

You're the best. I love you.

Thanks Jess. Love you, too.

I'm sorry about your grandmother.

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I know the pain with the loss of a Grandmother, I still think of mine often and the influence she had on my life. Even though I was really young when she died, I still remember everything about her and treasure the memories I do have. I hope we can be as wonderful to our children as our Grandparents and parents have been to us.

Me too. A line in the funeral really stood out to me. The minister said, "Your grandmother raised you, too."

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